No. 2

I must warn you, this one is rather depressing. Enjoy!

                It bit me. The cursed bloody thing bit me. How had I been so stupid, how had I let it get so close. Fool, fool, fool. I didn’t want to die. Stupid, stupid, stupid. All this time and I was going to die from idiocy, a lapse of attention for a second, just a second. Damn this, damn all of it. I must have dropped my gun in the scuffle, I couldn’t find it. Didn’t really care.
                Don’t really want to die, certainly don’t want to become one of them. Wish I could find my gun, I don’t really think I could do myself in with a knife, and it wouldn’t keep me from changing anyway.
I had always wondered in the back of mind what it felt like, were you trapped in there screaming but only you could hear, while what used to be your body keeps on walking around spreading it. Or do you die, and your body just keeps going? But what fuels it, what keeps it moving, something that knows to hunt flesh and moving things, clearly. Is it some kind of parasite, like the body snatchers from old movies? Or is it you, becoming one of them, just another mindless vessel spreading the infection, already changed by it yourself?
How long did I have? I couldn’t remember. What was it, the longest an hour, two? Shortest how long? Why couldn’t I remember? Was this it changing me already or simply forgetfulness? Wish I could find my bloody gun. What was my sister’s name again? No, no. How could I not remember. I never really thought it would go this way, I’d seen a lot of the other survivors get bit, guess I never really thought it would happen to me, guess I’d always sustained some silly hope. What an odd word, it had kept me going for so long, and now I was thinking about it when I was dying, funny almost, although I’m not laughing.
What was my name? How did I forget? I can’t remember my name. How long have I been crying? Something with an “M.”
What was I doing again?
No. Gun. Find it. I won’t change. I won’t.
The ground’s starting to spin.
I think I see it.
It’s heavy in my hand. When did it get so hot? Or is it cold? I can’t seem to…what was I doing?
I have to, I will.
Shaking like a leaf now, what a silly expression, leaves don’t shake, the sway, rolling with the punches of the wind.
No, I don’t have to aim so much, close enough will do it. Just have to. My head hurts. My vision’s going blurry, wait, what? Blurry…can’t seem to remember what it means.
Just need to shoot.
Just need to.
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