Yeah, inside joke central, but if you wanted good writing you wouldn’t have come here. It builds character.
5, Month of the Tarrasque
I am sick and tired of people looking surprised when I say that I’m a swordsman, well swordswoman to be more precise. Just because I’m a gnome doesn’t not mean that if I pick up a shortsword, no pun intended, I will somehow instantly impale myself like a little gnome-shish kabob.
It’s aggravating, I’m three feet, four inches tall. That is still four inches taller than the legendary rouge Sheist Devit Null. I am able to be a warrior and not cut my own head off.
7, Month of the Tarrasque
Finally, I signed on to a cursed adventuring group. It’s quite an odd mix, we have a rouge who no one knows what she is, she wears a cloak all the time, so yay, I’m going to get backstabbed in my sleep. There’s a good drow, and we have an oxymoron in the party. We also have a half ork who loves pink, I don’t even know what to say. And a druid, not sure what the druid shifts into, I hope it’s not a bunny or something.
9, Month of the Tarrasque
And we got a job. We have to transport supplies through a marsh and, wait for it, it gets better, a jungle. And it just dawned on me, I’m a gnome traveling through a marsh, I’m like a snack for a crockalisk, not to mention breaks in the peat.
10, Month of the Tarrasque
And we set off today. Wish me luck.
13, Month of the Tarrasque
The druid is a were-tarrasque. I was not expecting that. How do you even do that? He’s a very small tarrasque, only haycart sized. I need a nap.
19, Month of the Tarrasque
And we got through the marsh. I only got attacked by three crockilisks and only fell through the peat once. Now on to the jungle.
22, Month of the Tarrasque
And our rouge is a wanted criminal. I really need a nap.
27, Month of the Tarrasque
We fought a dragon. We were saved by the orc who is very good at distracting dragons from eating our healer. Which means that she grabbed a bracelet and threw it at the dragon. We were saved from a dragon by a well-timed bracelet.
29, Month of the Tarrasque
We arrived safely with all the cargo, minuses one crate of Squishy Panther Appendixes, Melted. We had to use it to distract the cave troll. I think I’ll stay on with these guys. I didn’t die and they’re surprisingly humorous while we face certain death.