List story

For this story, I had to use a list of things (for mine I decided upon heart rate per minute), and honestly, I think it turned out well. I am going to be self-praising now. I like this story. I am proud of this story. I got a kind of crappy grade on this story. But I still like it! Because it’s good! Yay! Enjoy!

Heartbeats

174 (living – bpm of a premature child). The number of times her barely formed heart forced blood though her veins, in the span of a single minute. Her mother had chosen the name Esma, and prepared it for her as warmly as the crib in the pale green room that waited in their home for her arrival. She found out later that it meant loved, from an entry in some battered name book. But her father named her Bacia. He always made sure she knew that it meant death. She would have known anyway.

0 (dying – bpm of nothing). Her mother lay still. The nurse talked quickly to her father, telling him that it was no fault of the child, not to blame the child, you mustn’t blame the child. Perhaps he had held the same empty stillness in his face that he always showed her. No matter how his face had looked, how still and silent it must have been, like frozen mountains, cold and unmoving, he did not care to listen to the nurse.

63 (dreaming – bpm of a child sleeping). When she drifted off to sleep, her mind would soar to thoughts of other places, other worlds where the sun would cut less harshly. Where she could see the stars and places only learned about in the books of geography and travel that she read as quickly as she could download them from the info sites. She dreamed that someday she would leave.

131 (drinking – bpm of a drunk man). Her father would lay on the couch after he drank, his breath stinking of ferment, tears navigating the plains of stubble across his face, his chest shuddering with choking sobs. He would yell at her, never hit, never touch, simply words that cut like knives, like blades of the sun. There would be blame in his words, blame in his face, blame in her name. Perhaps she blamed herself as well, but she never cared to think about it for too long, afraid of what she might realize, what traitorous thoughts she might find skulking in the shadowed parts of her mind.

162 (running – bpm of an exercising teenager). She would always leave the house when he got drunk, letting leaves crackle and branches sway where she passed through the cool of night. When she ran, she didn’t have to wonder what she’d do when she could leave, worried that guilt might moor her to that house forever. Moor her to the man whose DNA she bore, the man who did not see her as his daughter. She was a parasite to him, she knew, sucking away the life of the woman he had loved, and leaving nothing but a muddled portrait of what had been.

118 (leaving – bpm of a scared teenager). She packed what few things she cared enough about to keep. A few sets of clothes, boots, and a necklace of her mother’s that her father had wordlessly handed to her when she was old enough not to asphyxiate on it. Her father had yelled when she told him she was leaving. Yelled that she’d taken away her mother’s life, and was now leaving him with nothing, accused her of not caring that her mother had died so that she could live, ranted and swore at her until she nodded meekly and went to her room, where the green was now faded. Her mother, her mother, her mother. She had thought about her mother’s sacrifice, and it was why she had to leave. Her mother had died so she could live. This was not living. This was existing, merely a shade, eternally shackled to the death of her mother. To him, she was nothing beyond that. She never would be. So she left.

122 (sweating – bpm of a woman in a hot environment). The enlistment station was sweltering, perhaps they were bolstering troops against the inevitable chill of the ships. No matter how good the insulation was, they were always a little chill, or so she had heard. It would be better than the city at least. The shining chrome of all the buildings smarted against her eyes, and while it looked slightly mystical, it would be horrid to live in, exacerbating the sun upon your skin. However, it was worth it to stand in the heat, as her form processed, because soon she would be on a ship, a courier. Necessary in case of required blackouts that left nothing but the shielded life-support systems online. She would run through darkened passageways, no more difficult to navigate than the woods at night. And when she reached wherever the ship was heading, with some pay in her pocket, she could finally be her own person.

186 (carrying – bpm of a running woman). Her feet hammered a quick tempo in the silent hallway. She heard a slightly slower pattern travel towards her, and she moved to let another courier pass unimpeded. The footsteps faded away into the almost oppressive silence again, leaving her with only her quick breathing and the pulse of blood sounding in her ears. There had been signs that a hungry fleet had been through the area recently, nothing to be too afraid of, but caution could keep you breathing, so it was always best to utilize it. Which was the cause for the blackouts, and for the running, but soon they’d be back to the travel, back towards some new world. Just a few more messages to carry.

194 (fleeing – approximated* bpm of a scared woman). She crouched in one of the bunks, the best place to be if the ship ever had to take evasive maneuvers. Even so, she had to grip the handles, secured firmly to the wall, with all the strength she could muster. The hungry fleet had not been far enough away, it had caught their scent, and now they were fleeing, as quickly as the gargantuan engines could muster. They might be able to make it away, but for now there was nothing she could do but grip the handles and feel helpless. And afraid. Astoundingly afraid. She had always had some iota of control over what would happen to her, and suddenly she could do nothing but hang on and wish for escape, for survival. Her name felt like a chain, the millstone encircling her neck as she sank to the deeps, connecting her once again to her mother. She wondered if this was how the woman who had borne her had felt, knowing life slipped away every second, yet unable to intervene against the looming figure, the figure that waited with eternal patience. Waiting with patience that could outlast the stars.

129 (shivering – approximated** bpm of a cold woman). The wind biting off of the snowfields was glacial. The ship had made it, just barely. She shivered in the unexpected cold, the cold that was wonderful and amazing all the same, because it was the sharp cold of life, not the interminable frigid silence of death. A few other people walked in the icy air, and some sat at the hatch of the ship. She looked at the town, just visible through the snow and sleet. It was surrounded by a seemingly depthless forest of trees. You just make out the sharp green scent of the pines that were liberally mixed with more deciduous trees, skeletal under a gray sky, but speaking of warmth to come. Things that looked so lifeless, but weren’t, simply biding their time until the small death of winter was over. Death was a part of life to them. Death was always a part of life. She stared at the forest, the living and the dead, seamlessly intermingled. What’s in a name, but the most unbreakable chains of blood, wound through with soft ribbons of love, equally adamantine. What’s in a life but death, and what’s in a death but life? She was her mother’s daughter, she was her father’s wretch, she was her name’s bearer. She was a woman, merely a woman, who would very much like to live in a place with forests to wander, once the snows thawed. She was loved, and she was death. She was free, and she was bound. She was lost, and she was home.

*I could find no info on the average heart rate of a scared adult woman, so I estimated from the teenage info, including additional exertion in 194.

**Cold does speed your average heart rate, although to what extent I could not locate, so I used a number close the overly hot heart rate of 122.

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Slightly more than 350 word story.

Here you go! Another story. And I’m posting another one right after that. But the one with the dragon will wait until tomorrow. Or the day after. Eh. Memory is difficult. Back on track, this story was supposed to be 350 words, but I thought it was fluid. So it’s more like, 370 something words. Enjoy!

350 word story 

The ship rose from the dock, skimming lightly over the shimmering city. The pilot held the controls with easy familiarity, and sat with the quiet of careful concentration.

A slight movement from the lone passenger shifting for a better view at the passing city-scape pulled the pilot from her rumination, to glance at the woman. She seemed entranced by the glittering lights and polished edges. The fool probably thought that it looked like some mystical utopia. Atlantis reborn, perhaps.

The pilot knew better. You travel a place for years, and you start to see where the façade is worn and tattered. The homeless who shield themselves from the scorching sun by crouching within what meager shadows could be found.

Maybe the passenger believed the tales of protection from the hungry fleets, thinking that this world would be safer than any other because of newer technology and more advanced weapons. In the end, of course, the safest city could, at best, delay the inevitable, but few people really want to accept a fact such as that.

Or perhaps the woman, little more than a girl, really, had aspirations of joining the fight against the fleets. If so, she was doubly a fool, to go and choose a death that would only help add to the mountains of corpses, hanging endlessly in the frozen blackness.

But who could understand the thoughts of the young, who throw themselves on blades to prove that they’re invincible. The children who think that just because they haven’t bled yet means that they never will.

The pilot wondered if she herself had ever been so headstrong. Although the fleets had not been a fear when she was young, there were always dangers, always causes to launch yourself into, without thought of the consequences.

She was older now. Old enough to see her mistakes for what they were, but not so old that she looked at the mistakes of the young with animosity, seemingly convinced that age would always bring wisdom, rather than wrinkles.

But she knew that you have to let the young make their own errors, or else they will pull towards the dangers even more sharply, until they found wisdom enough to see their own mistakes, or killed themselves trying. She thought of this as the girl walked from the ship, towards inevitable mistakes, and destinations unknown.

You few, you lovely few, might be getting something more stable on the update front. (And here’s a celebratory story.)

So, yeah. The lovely addition of a creative writing class into my life is forcing me to sit down and write real stuff. It’s quite lovely. So while there won’t be any specific post schedule, as long as I remember, there should be more than an update every month. Yay! So yeah, have a story. To explain the funky format, the requirement was that each sentence began with a, then b, then c, so on. Of course I did it about mole rats battling the forces of darkness, because…I’m unique. Story! Enjoy!

                Anyone who has ever seen a naked mole rat can probably agree on one thing; they look silly as sheep-wolves.

                Be that as it may, no one would ever question the bravery of a mole rat.

                Cherish your innocence, naysayer, for you would weep for it if you ever saw the mole rat battalions ride against the darkness of the snake-hoards.

                Do you really want me to point out how idiotic you’re being?

                Entire cities would be lost if not for the mole rats!

                For the love of…will you let me tell the story?

                Good.

                Hailing from long-forgotten ages, the serpent-hoards crouched within the depths of the earth, biding their time.

                It was thought that stories of ancient shadows such as these were simply myths.

                Journeyers would at times tell of terrible scaly things roaming in the silence of darkness, but those who spend their days on the empty paths have claimed mad things since humanoids began wandering this sphere.

                Knowing that such travelers’ tales were often true did not help the humanoids much in this case.

                Letting the serpent-hordes go unchecked was a very bad mistake, for when such things go unimpeded, they have the freedom to amass armies.

                Most of the humans’ warriors were not prepared, with the elves and sprites fairing little better.

                No one is sure how the tide of battle might have turned if the mole rats had not intervened, but before the assistance, things were looking truly grim for the humanoid forces.

                Out of their dim burrows the mole rats skittered, through the torn earth and rivers of death.

                Proceeding through the shadowed world, the mole rats at last reached the chasm from which the serpent-hoards crawled, to make war on the mortals, and they jumped into the fray.

                Quenching the tide of the serpent-hordes, the rats bared curving teeth and needle claws.

                Reinforcements from the humanoids finally arrived, but could do little against the shadowy creatures.

                Shadowy serpents fell before the fang and might of the rats by the dozen, but it seemed that even that great effort would not be enough to stop the endless flow.

                Things seemed to darken again, but when it seemed too dark for the world to continue, the mole rat queen climbed from the deepest of the burrows, simply widening tunnels grown too small for her, and emerged into the fight.

                Underground, the immense size of a mole rat queen is perhaps not quite so noticeable, her claws do not seem so finely honed, her teeth not nearly as sickle long and sickle sharp.

                Very few creatures find no fear within their hearts upon beholding a queen mole rat.

                What few emotions the serpent-hordes may have had, however, did not include fear; not that fear is a necessary part of defeat.

                Xeric scales and seal sleek skin parted beneath the wrath of the queen.

                You may have heard that victory even after that was hard fought, but in truth the serpents fell like wheat to the reinvigorated troops, and to the fury of the queen, and so the day was won, and so this tale is done.

                Zephyrus seems to call my feet to walk the road again, and if my storytelling was worth it to you, perhaps you could let the little ratties know of the goblins I’ve seen skulking in the shade of the mountains?

Another poem, as well as the realization that I should never be put in charge of something time sensitive.

So. It’s been…around two and a half months. Huh. It always amazes me how I can be so hung up on the daily breakdown of time and life and schedules, but when it comes to such things as writing, I can just not notice how long it has been, the gallivanting of life allowing me to forget things that perhaps I should view with more importance. So I do apologize, to anyone who reads this, and actually cares when I update, for the fact that time doesn’t just escape me, it kicks me in the shins and steals my keys first. I just want to give a thanks to the people who read my blog, it really brightens my day when I open my email and see that I have a like or a comment. Thanks, to everyone who devotes any of our odd, amazing existences to reading such paltry words that I put down.

And now that all of that annoying jabbering is over, you can finally have some adequate writing. Without further ado or whining, I give you No more poems. Enjoy!

 

No more poems

I have no more poems.

Really, I’m out.

Why don’t you believe me?

You’re making skeptical sounds.

Is there something I’m missing?

Did you find one of the old ones?

Do you think I could write more?

I honestly can’t.

I’m worn out and tired.

There are books that are calling.

Stop raising your eyebrow!

Do you see any poems?

I didn’t think so.

Stop making those sounds!

You’re nodding slowly and going ‘Uh huh.’

Why?

Seriously, I’m in a slump.

Poems don’t just appear out of thin air.

I don’t write them without thinking about it.

Who does that?

Not me!

Obviously.

Gee, how was it been a month already? (Or another poem)

So, you know how I said I had two other poems to add? Yeah. I just realized that I posted that a month ago, and the poems have been hanging out in my folder. Because I am lazy. So lazy. I wrote this one directly after Worry, and then I was going to wait a day or two to post, and you can see how well that went. So, without further ado, I give you Stuck In My Writing Voice. Enjoy!

 

I am stuck, now, in my writing voice,

Where thoughts are said somewhat sadly,

And all things have cadence,

Even if it is inconsistent.

 

I am stuck, now, in my writing voice,

Where commas magically become,

Wistful sighs,

And periods require more pause,

Than pads.

 

I am stuck, now, in my writing voice,

Where I may change formatting

D

r

a

s

t

i

c

a

l

l

y,

And no one shall care,

Because. This. Is. A. Poem.

 

I am stuck, now, in my writing voice,

Where I really can’t speak too fast because then no one has any idea what I’m saying and I get lots of odd looks and requests for deep breaths.

 

I am stuck, now, in my writing voice,

Where everything mustn’t have prose,

Instead, illogical imagery is immensely invited,

And all audiables are annoyingly assumed and awaited as alliteration.

 

I am stuck, now, in my writing voice,

But soon inconsistent cadence (No matter how foolish),

The endless sighs,                                                                                                  after a comma,

thE CHANGe in hOw WordS are WRITTEN,

Shall soon all change because really this is getting rather old and I have other things to do,

So say, sadly, some soft sendoffs,

To my writing voice.

 

 

Worry

I haven’t done poems in a while, but a few days ago I got hit by the need to write, and my muse shrugged at how I had ideas for short stories, which is why I have written three poems and no more short stories. I have, however, been typing up some work of mine from a notebook that I keep, and it’s not all bad. I’m just posting the first one for now, because I like having some amount of padding between me and complete web silence. So, without further ado, dear nonexistent readers, I give you Worry. Enjoy!

 

Worry

I suppose that I worry that no one will read this,

And that if they do, they will scoff,

And compare me to authors whose writing is better,

(For there are so many authors whose writing is better),

Who weave words like tapestries, nooses, and cots,

And my writing, I know, it is not.

 

I suppose that I worry that these words, they’ll be forgotten,

Long after I’ve faded away,

Nothing left for them but cluttering pages, and bookshelves, and minds,

‘Til they, no longer, can stay.

 

I suppose that I worry that I will abandon this calling,

I (foolishly) feel that I have,

For other pursuits that hold more in store,

Than starvation and chillness,

And tears.

 

I suppose that I worry that all this is futile,

Because who would choose these words, above all?

Nothing but windows,

When people crave doors,

To be fully immersed, instead of just glimpsing,

Some half thought that I have (for some reason) scrawled down.

 

And I suppose that I worry about plenty of things,

Not all of them necessarily real.

 

No. 27 Scientific Beauty (or, If You Don’t Like This, Blame My Computer)

Hello again! Long time no see. And by no see, I mean long time no writing, because apparently NanoWriMo dragged my motivation away with it when it when it left. But hey, I’m back, and I have a journal with a couple of salvageable stories that I want to type up, so perhaps we’re heading back on track.

Now, if you don’t like this story, blame my computer. It was better, full of thoughtfully considered words and wit. But alas, in my haste to write I had not saved the story, and my computer chose this time, when I was two hundred masterful words in, to give me the blue screen of death (Or the modern day equivalent) for the first time ever. The work was non-salvageable, and I had to retype it. I hate retyping things. Nevertheless, I’m glad to be able to share the somewhat less good version with all (fifteen) of you. Enjoy!

No. 27

I was woken up by a gentle kiss. I then reached for the dagger that I wear on my hip, and was shocked to discover that I was wearing a dress. Someone had put me in a dress. Dresses and I go together a lot like sodium and water. The same two outcomes are inevitable; there will be explosions, and someone is going to get hurt.

Since I had no dagger with which to respond to my erstwhile kisser, I decided that punching would probably work just as well, with less chance of ‘Oh, I’m sorry, are those your internal organs on the floor?’ becoming a problem. I was pretty sure that I would have the element of surprise on my side.

I whirled around and swung a punch at him. The intent was to hit his nose with a satisfying crunch, but my trajectory was off so I ended up getting in a good blow against his sternum that made him an unexpected acquaintance of the floor.

“You do not introduce yourself to a sleeping woman by kissing her!” I attempted to channel my old schoolteacher, who made one want to flee and hide under the nearest object when she turned the full measure of her fury upon you.

He looked dazedly at me from the floor. He was wearing highly opulent clothing, unnecessarily so, and his face had a few scratches from either cats or thorns that were in the process of oozing blood.  “What?”

I squinted at him and scrutinized him farther, taking in aspects of his appearance; highly jelled and slicked back hair, purely decorative sword in a sheath at his side, boots that were polished enough to be used at mirrors and little else, and the fact that he appeared to be wearing more jewelry than I owned. I spat the next word, in lieu of actually spitting. “Prince.”

The prince looked at me with a mixture of fear and confusion, “I’m sorry ma’am, the fairy said that you could only be woken by a kiss from your true love. I thought I might see if I was that person.”

I raised my eyebrow and took on a tone of panicked reassurance, “Really officer, I only kissed her because the crazy lady who was claiming she was a fairy told me that if I did I might get to marry her and who knows, I might be her true love. Yeah. That would hold up in court.”

He blinked at me and looked like his whole view of the justice system was crashing down, “So you’re not a princess?”

“Oh no, I’m a princess. I’m just a princess who thinks you should leave before I find my dagger and make you. Have a good day, spread the word that there was a dragon protecting nothing but ruins, warn people that this place is haunted, whatever would deter them. And how did you get through the thorn wall?”

“I put some strange concoction on them. It was from the stores of an alchemist who was burnt as a witch for knowledge of unnatural arts.”

“Oh lovely, was it sulfuric acid? I hadn’t thought of that. And you burn people at stakes now? I think that the world has managed to devolve. Right then. Off with you. Feel free to take a ‘dragon scale’ from the basket by the door on your way out. Be sure to warn all your friends.”

The prince just kind of stared at me again, “But aren’t you happy to be released from the curse?”

“This isn’t a curse. We traded knowledge with the faeries so that they would let all of us in the household sleep until the world was a bit more knowledgeable, and clearly that hasn’t happened yet. There’s just one faerie who’s decided that this is a foolish decision and keeps sending in moronic princes like you to get us to wake up. If I could send a crossbow bolt through her wings it would make my day. Now, leave for goodness sake.”

At this point he looked rather confused and a little worried, and simply wandered away in the general directions of the outside.

Once was gone I looked at the ceiling, “Can I tell you how to make objects hover with the proper frequencies of sound waves in exchange for a guard dragon? And we’ll have to make the hedge wall resistant to acids.”

I heard the musical noises of agreement, “Got it? Good. I’m going back to bed.”